Climbing Fire: Our Journey Up Acatenango

Some people hike volcanoes for the thrill. We did it mostly out of stubbornness, poor planning, and the faint hope it might sober us up.

The trek was meant to start the day before, but a bit of a cervezas-too-many situation meant we missed the morning van. Luckily, we blagged our way back in by convincing the hostel we’d actually booked for the following day. No confirmation code? No problem. We’ve scammed harder for less.

We had no cash for gear, and no walking stick between us. Things looked bleak until a very generous (and very loaded) German legend spotted our distress and fronted the 30p each for trekking poles. Hero.

Then came the actual trek: 8 hours of uphill madness with a mixed crew of Canadians, a sweaty Yank, two rapid Germans, and one overly confident Madrid fan. It started off as a full sweat-fest, but as soon as the sun dipped, it turned arctic. One minute you’re overheating, the next you’re shivering round a fire roasting marshmallows and trying to keep your fingers attached.

But the views? Absolutely worth it. Volcano Fuego popped off all night, massive eruptions lighting up the sky like nature’s own fireworks. Zero sleep though. None. A 16-bed dorm, full body chills, and someone definitely snoring through the apocalypse.

At 3am, with eyes barely open and joints frozen, we set off for the summit. Joe dropped off the back almost immediately, looking like a broken NPC. Chris tried to keep pace but forgot a torch, so had to rely on the faint glow of other people’s phones and sheer luck not to faceplant.

The final climb was rough, but the sunrise was unreal. Volcano Fuego kept erupting in the background like it knew we were watching. It didn’t feel real. Or maybe we were just severely sleep-deprived. Either way, 10/10.

After that? Straight back down. No chill. We legged it, full sprint descent, practically skiing down loose volcanic rock. Final part of the trip? Our minivan back to Antigua got rear-ended by a motorbike. Man down. Proper faceplant. Everyone fine, just a fitting end to the chaos.